(type: amazing ... a second person account)

Ed: You may remember "Hawaii Mike" from a previous entry. This guy just seems to attract bad karma sometimes, but he always gives it a run for its money.

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Mike left his Subaru station wagon in a Hilo parking lot one day while he walked to the Subway across the street to grab a sandwich. The trusting Hawaii vibe had apparently gone to his head because he left not only his beloved dog Jymbae in the back seat, but also the car keys in the front. After a few minutes in line Mike noticed a suspicious man with a backpack walk past the car while looking inside, then walk back, open the door, throw his bag in and sit down in the driver's seat. Mike bolted.

He was just able to jump into the car's back seat before the offender backed out. Maybe "backed out" isn't an appropriate description. Mike had spent his first couple of seconds in the car shouting expletives at the driver and alternately kicking at his head and gear-shifting hand. So in this case "backed out" actually means "careened across the lot and smashed into another car." Mike spent another second or two face/hand kicking before the thief managed to get the car into drive and smash into a second parked car, then plummet the wrong way down a one-way street, banging into another car or two along the way and causing pedestrians to dive for safety. The Battle of Subaru was not going well.

So Mike decided to cut his losses and told the man to just stop and let him out. When the car stopped, he pushed Jymbae out into the street and then dove out himself before the wagon peeled away. Mike then proceeded to shout for help, which would certainly have been more effective had Jymbae, in a confused panic, not started to bark, growl and bite Mike in the ass. It took a bit of explaining to the next passerby to make it clear that Jymbae was not the problem.

Mike got one last glimpse of his car as it barreled down a main street, well out of reach. By this time the police were on the case, but as it happens, Hawaii state law prevents law enforcement officers from chasing criminals at high speeds, so apprehending the deranged felon took a bit more time than it otherwise might. But apprehend him they did and Mike's cracked-up Subaru was eventually returned. Let's all hope Mike took some cynicism away from the ordeal. No keys or family members left in the car. Ever.