(type: funny ... a second person account)

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Capio and some friends made a surfing trip to Mexico a few years ago. Their destination was so remote that they had to take an SUV down a very long, backwoods trail, much of it crossing the desert. The beautiful scenery that they passed along the way included some amazing 30-40 foot cacti, which they were all very impressed with. More impressed, no doubt, because they were all fairly drunk.

After several hours of driving, one of the passengers, a Phd, suggested that it would be fun to knock one of the cacti down with the truck. They all agreed that was a good idea, but forgot about it after a few moments. Several minutes later the Phd spoke up again about his terrific cactus-felling plan, which they again agreed would be funny but didn't make a concerted effort to make it happen. Phd would not be dissuaded. "I think we should go ahead and do it while we're thinking about it." Okay, okay, they said, and stopped when they found a suitable plant.

The cactus in question was something like a foot in diameter -- much narrower than some of the giants they had passed, but this seemed like a safe start to their new hobby. Capio took to the driver's seat, lined up with the cactus and drove slowly into it. Bump. Nothing happened. No big deal, he just backed up a little further, drove forward again at about twice the speed of the first effort, and... bump. Still, the cactus remained unfazed. Third time's a charm! He backed up around thirty feet from the cactus and launched forward at a strong clip, and then...

Crash. Probably one would have to be drunk not to guess that either A) the cactus would be stronger than the bumper and grill of a car, or B) the cactus, when knocked down, would fall toward the vehicle. As you may have guessed, both of those results applied in this case. The front of the truck was smashed in, but worse yet, the windshield was almost completely covered in a lattice of broken glass.

How funny, they all said - it totally destroyed the vehicle! Ha ha ha! But wait a second... how the hell are we going to get home? They were ten hours from the U.S. border and that mangled truck was their only method of getting there. The engine did still work, but there was almost no visibility through the windshield. One of the members of the group suggested that they knock out the windshield and use their scuba masks to drive, but they were fairly certain that the border patrol would not let a vehicle with no windshield into the country (Ed: but they would allow a webbed windshield in?). The final decision was to make use of a tiny, triangular area at the bottom left of the windshield that was still intact. The trip home was scary and long, but they eventually made it out of the Mexican desert with no further incident.

Oh, and they later learned that felling cacti is highly illegal. Job well done, guys -- very classy.